An update! 1 year from finishing chemo for my recurrence.
Recently I have had an influx of new subscribers to my blog, and feel compelled to once again pick up the proverbial pen and give an update. I am now 1 year out from finishing chemotherapy for triple negative breast cancer, for the second time.
Why I have been taking a break from blogging.
My last proper update was to let everyone know that my cancer had returned. It was one of the hardest articles I have ever had to write. I was post mastectomy and 9 weeks in to chemotherapy. If I’m totally honest, I was just DONE with everything breast cancer. I was angry. I rejected it and everything to do with it from my life. And sadly that has meant my blog too.
It was also an extremely busy and all consuming time of my life. On top of chemotherapy, I was starting up a business and preparing to move house. Both of those things were great distractions, and really important steps towards a better life for myself and my family. But I was also raising 2 young children, one of whom is autistic, with no family or (being still new to the area) friends to help. I look back at that time and wonder how I got through it. I was exhausted. Mentally, physically and emotionally. I didn’t have the capacity to keep up with blogging as well.Â
Since then, I have kept my website going, but at arms length. I didn’t want to give breast cancer a single second of my time or energy that wasn’t completely necessary. However, seeing people continue to subscribe has reminded me that people are watching, and probably wondering what has become of me. Vulnerable people. Scared people. So here I am with a much needed update.
How I have been since finishing treatment.
I honestly can’t believe it has been a year since finishing chemo. At the time it felt as though it was never going to end. It was hard on me. Harder than the first time around. But I did it, needs must I guess.Â
Since then, I’m so happy to report that life has been wonderful. We moved in to our new home which we absolutely adore. Our new business is proving to be successful. Our children are happy and thriving.
The summer after finishing chemo I was deep in the “you only live once” phase. Spent probably way too much money on lovely trips, and spent precious time with family and friends. I lived the high life, and felt so deeply grateful for every moment of it. There’s nothing like feeling utterly atrocious for 5 straight months to make you appreciate feeling good again!Â
I have dutifully continued with regular check ins with my oncologist, and have also undergone 2 sessions of fat grafting around my implant, with one more to go. I will write more on that when the process is finished.
But aside from that, I have put breast cancer to the back of my mind. It’s funny, before my recurrence I was scared of it coming back. Now that it did, something has switched in my mind that I don’t fully understand yet. I don’t allow myself to live in fear of it. The thoughts creep in and I just sling them out. Feeling this way has been 6 years, lots of soul searching and some therapy, in the making. I will write about this more in the future when I understand it better and can give actionable advise to others living in cancers shadow.
What's next?
For now I am carrying on with life as normal. As much as is possible anyway. I am still harboring some physical fatigue from chemo. I eat healthily, move my body, guard my sleep and manage my stress levels. I also have pizza (and wine!) occasionally without feeling guilty about it. I am busy with parenting, working, new friendships and life in general. That’s what has kept me going. I am truly content with life right now, and breathing in every moment of it in the way that only someone that has gone through cancer can.Â
So thank you to my subscribers, new and old, for taking an interest. I hope this has put your mind at ease and given you hope. 2 brutal fights with the beast that is triple negative breast cancer and I am still standing here to tell the tale. Happy, hairy and shining!Â
